When I was in college, I stumbled on this line from Oprah, “the smarter the woman gets, the more difficult it is for her to find the right man.” I remember it so perfectly.
I’d like to believe that as I grow older, I become wiser. I think that’s the only way to go and never the opposite, right?
Looking back at all the guys I ever liked, I guess some would make my jaw drop and throw the classic line, “what the hell was I thinking?” When I was in high school, I had this big crush on a campus heartthrob. At that time, I thought it was love. He had the cutest chinky eyes, the hell if he can’t even spell or multiply. I was 12 and obviously didn’t know any better.
I’ve moved on from petty crushes to a “relationship,” the first I ever had. The concerns were so shallow — “How come you didn’t call?” “Why didn’t we eat lunch together?” and the list of trivial things go on. I was still in high school so as I shifted from the comforts of my nearby school to the university, the desires and things I aspire for a relationship also changed.
So there goes a start of my first serious relationship. It was where I learned how important friendship was to build a relationship. I began to realize that it’s beyond the chinky eyes but knowing that there will always be someone to have your back when times get tough. It came at a time when I was starting to dream. College gives you this. Being so close to the “real world outside,” I felt my future within reach and the guy I held hands with automatically was the same guy I built my dreams with.
College sweethearts, it’s either you get married or break up. With us, it had to be the latter. I was living my dream job. My own career, own paycheck, the new people I’m meeting, the independence was just overwhelming and I had to take it up a notch.
In between were the guys who would try to woo me thinking I’d take the bait, the guys who would try to make friends. There was the one who got away because the universe conspired it was not meant to be.
From there I felt I knew better, way better. So I ought to myself that the next guy will be perfect. He will be really smart. Will know better literature, vocabulary and grammar than me. Will leave me in awe on things he knows about culture, history and the arts. His manners are well intact and his gestures so fine. He’s the sweetest but remains to be my sturdy wall. He doesn’t smoke, does not drink (well not too much). Gambling is a no-no. He knows the balance of family and friends.
But love found me through the most unexpected person, a friend. On this long list of things I want, Gel (my boyfriend) is like a 40% miss. Hahaha! The one you love is always an exception, right? 🙂
Seriously, I think as you get wiser, your ideals become more defined. What you want in life is clearer versus your shady standards when you were 12. Hence, making you more picky, more equipped to make intelligent choices and not be swooned by just a pretty face.
So yes, it is true. It gets a little harder smart girls. If at all, DO NOT SETTLE.
But please, be smart enough as well to differentiate the more important traits from the highly utopian ones. Remember, you need a man who isn’t perfect but real.