To be 30, Married and Childless

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Here’s to every woman I know who’s on the same boat as I am.  I hear you.

So here I am. A 30 year old woman married for 3 years without a child.

I must say life’s been pretty good and I am actually contented with what’s going on.

But in this equation of a happy woman and a happy man (I hope, haha) with a home and a bunch of dogs, people always seem to say that something’s missing.

A child.

Not having a child may be caused by many things. Biological issues, priorities, God’s perfect timing or purely just a choice. Mine could possibly be a combination of all these things.

I’ve got Polycystic Ovaries which makes childbearing a hit or miss. I vowed to make sure I have a house to my name before seriously considering expanding the tribe. I’ve recently ventured to consultancy work and put up a business which takes my whole being. Deep in my heart, being a mother is something that I’m more petrified rather than excited to venture on. Or if you go the religious route, perhaps the timing isn’t right by God’s clock.

There. I had to explain and lay down my cards for you to fully understand the context of my life. This is something I try to tell people day in and day out because I am always asked, “When are you going to have a child?”

I must be honest with you. I am tired of answering. I am tired of explaining. I am exhausted. I can only roll my eyes (internally, because polite ya’know) that much.

You might be coming from a road of good intentions but please. Just stop.

I would probably fake a smile but it in my head you’ve been marked as someone I’m likely to avoid as much as I can.

Please do not be that nosy aunt to tell me to go to this and that Doctor because someone’s anak or pinsan miraculously gave birth, or take this pill because it worked for you. This isn’t your common case of the colds.

Please do not be that douche uncle to tell me to dance in Obando whilst letting out a boisterous laugh. It’s not funny.

Please do not be that friend to say I probably should give my dogs away. You know I can cut you off my life easier than let go of my precious furry babies.

Please do not be that someone’s kumare (who I don’t even know) to say “baka mababa ang matres mo” because I don’t even know what that means.

Please do not be that overzealous parent who tells me the only way to complete my life is have a child. You’re negating the lives of those who cannot multiply due to reasons that are beyond them, or those who simply choose to live their lives differently.

Please do not be that awful person who pokes fun at my husband because “ang hina naman.”

It’s probably a natural progression to Meet a guy. Get hitched. Have kids.

But would you believe when I say I don’t actually feel a void?

I don’t feel that something’s amiss?

Does that make me an awful person to find contentment in my life?

Should I wallow in misery and grief because of the absence of a child?

Will it make me vile and evil if I don’t spend my days thinking of “how to get pregnant?”

So the next time you encounter a woman like me, give her the time off. You’re the nth person to ask her why she doesn’t have a child or when is she going to have one. Believe me, if she wants to discuss this with you, she’ll open up. Don’t think you’re giving comfort with your unsolicited remarks, my oh my, she’s heard it all.

Just like me, she’s strong but she’s exhausted.

Let her live. Let her be.

 

 

 

Husband’s Dirty Thirty Birthday!

My husband officially hits the 30 mark this year! Woohoo! How time flies! I knew him when he was still this lanky dude throwing those silly grins at me, how was I to know that we’ll end up together? Haha! Anyway, I am not really a person who loves throwing surprises. I guess I was never the sweet type. Poor husband! However, since being 30 is such a milestone and this is also his first birthday as a married man, I wanted to make it extra special. So I planned to surprise him with a party. Since he loves casual get together with friends, his party had to be chill.

I didn’t go through the hassle of looking for a place, I knew I wanted to do it at the newly built Shawarma Snack Center in El Grande Arcade, BF Homes Paranaque. It was spacious, al fresco and we love the food. I immediately contacted their office to inquire. I was initially assisted by the owner’s daughter, Fats, who was super helpful. Then, Mrs. Sarmiti, the owner herself came in to the picture and I must say, she was the one who did all the magic. I had little time to organize the party (aka: plan a program, do some DIY, etc). All I knew was to link it to Basketball hence the following:

1. Basketball themed cupcake c/o SSC with toppers downloaded from here.

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Thanks again to Mrs. Sarmiti for preparing these goodies for us! She and her team even volunteered to be the ones to stick the toppers themselves.

2. Cake and basketball cookies from Darling Cupcake Philippines. They are located at Veraville Homes, Talon 3 Las Piñas. Processed with VSCOcam with hb1 preset

It’s Php 1,250 for an 8-inch fondant cake and cookies are P25 each. I think the price is reasonable enough for a customized cake. I was able to try the chocolate cake. The design looks good although the details can get better. It was also a bit dry, perhaps because I was able to try it the following day already? Maybe.

3. Customized Buntings and orange balloons from Party Options. They are located at 47 Gloria Diaz Street, BF Resort Village, Las Piñas.

I just gave Lorraine, the owner, directions on the theme and what I want printed on the buntings. She sent me the design for me to approve before they proceeded with printing. Design is 3 patterns alternating for each flag. Size is 4 x 4.5″ and comes with a string already.
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 My advice is to make it a little bigger next time. I think it was quite small, especially for an outdoor event without the bright lights. They also don’t have helium-inflated balloons. Apparently, there’s a scarcity of vendors these days.

For the menu, we had sumptuous dinner consisting of:

  • Kebab
  • Chicken Tikka
  • Beef Tenderloin
  • Pasta
  • Fried Rice
  • Chili Sambusa
  • Sizzling Shawarma
  • Arabic Bread
  • Motabal
  • Green Salad
  • Hommous

Gee, the owners were so generous, helpful and went beyond what I asked for. They were so much willing to help me with my (limited) props, the set-up and the food! They were indeed heaven sent!  I definitely recommend Shawarma Snack Center so if you are interested to book it for your events, call +632 478 4667 for their packages.

Things went according to plan except for the fact that the surprise didn’t end up as a surprise! Hahaha! Please, if you are planning to do this, take note of these things:

  1. Ask your in-laws (or those whose cars your husband knows very well) to NOT park in front, let alone at the center of of the venue for him to see.
  2. Tell the crew, especially the overzealous guards NOT to tell all guests that there’s a surprise party going on. The next thing you know, he’s telling this to the celebrant himself.

Even with this little mishap, I had so much fun and more importantly, my husband loved his party with all his loved ones there 🙂 So, I think I’m gradually becoming to be a sweet wife. Teehee!

You, Yes You!

Hello Dream Reader,

I am glad that you are here. You see, I am having a hard time going back to my extrovert self and have resorted to be a virtual extrovert instead. I wasn’t always like this. Making friends was second nature but I don’t know, growing up probably happened. It’s now difficult and socially awkward for me to open up to people I’ve just met. So enough about me, let’s talk about you.

You probably are a reader, if not, you wouldn’t waste time to actually go through my 2 minutes of nonsensical non-sense. I like that about you. No matter what genre, what medium, what form is okay. It widens our perspective as a person. More than a reader, I think it’s you being always thirsty for knowledge.

Are you a writer? Most certainly, because probably you’re doing this assignment with me too. Your pen (or in this case, your keyboard) is your friend. No need to be a pro, I for one am not. We can both benefit with a feedback system, right pal? Let me know if I used that preposition correctly. I suck at prepositions (or is that supposed to be with?).

Perhaps you’re a dreamer? Do you often get lost in your thoughts? It’s a good place to be lost, just remember you are not Marty McFly so you better go back to reality from time to time.

How about an optimist? Do you try to see the good in the bad? The world can be crazy at times but nothing like always hoping for the best, right?

Do you have a good sense of humor? Do you like dogs? Do you enjoy eating good food? Do you like adventures?

If you answered mostly YES to the questions above, then we definitely are virtual pals. You are my kind of reader. Thanks for dropping by!

“So let it be written, so let it be done”

That’s me saying that line in true Yul Brynner fashion.

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I’m a fan of making lists – from my daily tasks to things I want to achieve, I write them down. I believe that there’s some kind of power, of unexplainable magic that happens when you list things down. More than just getting it done, it brings you closer to achieving your dreams. It probably is a form of magnetism, like The Secret, it’s following the Law of Attraction. Enclosed with this list is a prayer to the heavens that I hope soon enough, I get to realize these dreams.

  1.  Our own home. Two months back, my husband and I did some house-hunting (again – we did this in 2012). As a newly-wed couple, it was one of the most exciting (and mature) things we’ve done. Doing the math, we feel that we can push through with this big endeavor but we were nervous beyond nervous to go with it. The financial responsibility was daunting not to mention the fact that we are in the process of a civil case for another property (which hopefully will be ours) as well. Ah. (Sucks to be an adult! Hahaha!)
  2. A more flexible career. Advertising would still be and still is my first love. As much as I love the thrill, the challenges and the creativity that comes with it, a 10-7 (we start rather late) job is starting to feel suffocating. I don’t really see myself as a full-time stay-at-home wife since the domestic life is not my strongest asset (you full-time wives/moms rock, by the way) but I want to make sure I have more time for family instead of guarding my brands (or in the case of the Philippines, sitting through a traffic jam).
  3. An additional income stream. Gone are the days when a job is all you have as source of income. Nowadays, you need to be inventive. You have to find ways. This is what I want. To make sure that on top of what I get from my corporate life, I have something else to rely on when the going gets tough. Whether it be selling something, doing something or writing something, let the cash roll in.
  4. Project Bundle of Joy come 2015. They say it’s ideal to enjoy one year as husband and wife so you can adjust with each other’s 24/7 presence before having a baby in tow. So that’s what we are doing now. Since we are not getting any younger and a baby is just too cute to handle, we are gunning for this next year. Wee! Exciting times ahead.
  5. Learn something new. I’ve got quite a list of things I want to try real soon:
  • Baking, more so because we have a new oven we got as a wedding gift
  • Calligraphy, because arts and crafts, you know?
  • Yoga, because it’s been on my list for a couple of years!

6. Leave on a jet plane. Been a while since I have been wanderlust-ing so I my feet are getting itchy to travel soon. Top of mind destinations in no particular order:

  • Angkor Wat, Cambodia
  • Machu Picchu, Peru
  • Kathmandu, Nepal
  • All of Japan
  • Siquijor and Dumaguete, Philippines
  • El Nido, Palawan, Philippines
  • Athens, Greece
  • Rome, Italy

…and so many more!

So there goes my list. Nothing outrageous, just realistic goals that I want to achieve soooooon. What’s on yours?

Who am I and Why am I here?

In 2006, we had a project in our Art Appreciation Class. It was a Self-Portrait and I found it to be one of the hardest projects I had to do for school. Here’s an excerpt on how I felt doing it lifted from my now-defunct college blog:

Ironically, a self-portrait is the hardest project I ever had to accomplish. Nineteen years of breathing, moods that would swirl like hurricane Katrina, infinite dreams, unbendable beliefs, a thousand and ten things about me all wrapped up within one piece of art. Tough. Most especially when you do not really know yourself.

Luckily, I think a have a better vision of who I am now.

The basic things, I am Eunice. I am a 20-something newly-hitched ad woman from Manila, Philippines. This sentence succinctly  puts the life stage I am in right now. I can’t stress enough on 20-something because a few tumblings away and I’m hitting 30. I can’t believe it, college feels like yesterday! I am newly-hitched, 6 months today to be exact. Marriage is both a fun and crazy adventure. It’s weird knowing that the Miss Independent in me now has to do an Excel sheet on bills, savings and investments with another human being. I am an ad-woman and I think advertising is one of the most exciting industries ever, especially for a person who doesn’t like exact sciences. I’m all up for Liberal Arts, way to go! I am a shifter from doing traditional advertising (TV, radio and print) to digital (the World Wide Web aka the new frontier). I tell you, its a different animal!

So why am I here? I’ve kept a journal since I was in third grade. It’s funny reading posts of my younger self. There are times I wish I was that girl again so all I need to worry (and write) about would be petty crushes. I am actually new to Wordpress but not to blogging. I’ve been blogging since 2006. However, I’ve shifted from various platforms through the years (Blogspot > Multiply > Tumblr). I migrated some of my content from Tumblr to here and I really do hope to keep this one for long. Can’t say that I am a really good writer but I guess this is one of the few things that I do solely for myself. As I’ve said in my About portion, I write to immortalize my experiences, to keep my grammar in place and to check if I still can put rhythm to my words. Since I find it hard to write on paper these days, I chose the online world as my medium. I can be a blabber online but in real life, I take time to warm up to people but when I do, I can be very chatty too.

For now, I shall dub myself as The Virtual Extrovert. Ta-ta! 🙂

My Big Fat 2013

2013 was quite a year of many bold moves for me. Looking back, I feel that I’ve actually conquered a lot of fears. Let me tell you about it.

Enrolling in a Swim Class

Growing up, a lot of my really close friends didn’t know how to swim so I didn’t feel I was missing out anything. Come college and eventually the adult life, I was beginning to feel like a loser who couldn’t go way past the pool’s stairs. My fiancé, who is usually adamant to get things done, kept on volunteering to teach me whether be it in a public pool or tucked in an island far away. Being the proud person that I am, it was humiliating hahaha! Imagine the old fart that I am being asked to float by Gel in front of everyone to see? Que horror! So when I learned about the swimming lessons being held near our house, I knew I had to enrol.

Bert Lozada, here I come! It was a 10-day package for an hour every week. Since their classes already started, I had to do a 2-hour session for 5 days instead. The lessons cost P4,500, not bad if you want to learn from the Pros. So every Saturday morning, I had to bring my lazy bum to Elizabeth Seton’s pool to learn. Equipped with new gears — a Speedo one-piece bikini, swim cap, goggles and kick board, I was all so giddy to learn. The first day was all about proper breathing but it ended on a high note, us diving on a 6-feet pool. What the heck!

I finished all 10-sessions and mind you, it wasn’t easy. For one, my classmates were kids, as in toddlers from 4 to tweens. Good thing I look young so some kids asked If I were in high school. Hahaha! Also, there were a lot of parents, some whose age are probably already close to mine so yes, I was kind of shy. By the time the program ended, I knew how to breathe, do a few strokes (though I still can’t do a graceful freestyle) and the most important thing, to not be afraid of water. I still have a lot to learn but I guess this is a good start.

Driving on My Own

I always knew I can do it but I didn’t know it would be this year. Perhaps Gel being away made it happen. I had no choice but to do it myself. The first day I brought the car to the office, I actually hit the gutter in the parking lot. The second time that I did, the engine overheated. I drove frantically in EDSA on a weeknight rush hour just to get to a gas station and put water on my engine. After that, I felt I can conquer the world. The next thing I knew, I was going places. The expressway became a way of life, EDSA was point A to B and the one thing I feared most, Quezon City Circle was an achievement unlocked.

Driving is such an empowering experience! Once you start driving, you will never want to take public transportation again even if it is such a pain in the pocket, parking and gas combined! I didn’t like it the times when I felt sleepy or my legs got numb from the traffic but the times when it made life convenient were definitely more.

Mentoring a Blank Tablet

I’ve had numerous trainees assigned to me from my previous to current job. However, this is the first time when a fresh graduate will be under my tutelage for an actual job instead of an internship. The experience is quite a refreshing one! I’ve always been a firm believer that your first job is a very critical part of your career. It builds you and helps you become the person you will be a few years from now. Hence, it was a weight on my shoulder that I welcomed. I feel like I’ve always wanted to mentor someone. Good thing that 6 years in the industry was not a walk in the park. It taught me to be smart, snappy and tough and this is what I want to pass on. So when I learned from my trainee’s mom that her daughter feels I’m good with what I do, it was such a relief for a novice trainer that I am. Perhaps, I was born for this job? Let’s see what the future holds!

Setting Our Wedding Date

Since 2009, Gel and I have held a pact that we are in this relationship together for the long haul. Like what Queen B said, he put a ring on it. Sing with me! Although marriage has always been the long term goal, we have never pinned down the date until this year. I cannot remember the exact day, moment when we nodded in agreement to do this. The next thing I knew, we were attending a Wedding Fair already. Seems very apt for quite the unconventional couple that we are. One thing’s for sure, I’m going to be Mrs. San Miguel next year! WOAH.

Enduring a Long-Distance Relationship and Planning a Wedding on My Own

You know how everyone gets so excited with the thought of an overseas job opportunity? I confess that I was one of those but I never thought it was such a double-edged sword. My fiancé has always wanted to work in Singapore. I guess it’s the new “American Dream.” When he got the call last July about a job opportunity in SG, he was beyond ecstatic. This means so many positive things not only for him but for us. The bottom-line was a hefty pay check, after all, how hard can it be? Singapore’s just an hour of plane ride away.

As the days went by, we realised that it really was kind of tough. You’ll never know unless you’re there. No one prepared us on how to cope up with the lonely nights and the simple fact of having one steady companion around. It was hard on my part but I knew it was harder for Gel. Thank God for mobile data, we were able to keep tabs on each other through Whatsapp and FaceTime. If I think about it, this set-up actually made us appreciate and love each other more. Absence made our hearts grow fonder instead of being out of sight, out of mind.

Since it’s wedding planning season, I also had to do most of the work myself. I am not complaining since he’s probably going to pay haha! Before he left, we’ve already crossed out a lot of the big items like Church, Reception Venue, Catering and Photographers so I was left with just the details. I know I thrive on these little things, as they say, the devil is in the details. It would have been fun to scour on suppliers, go on meetings with my husband to be but I had to do what a girl’s gotta do. Thank heavens I learned how to drive. I can’t imagine going to Silang, Cavite, our wedding venue, via bus!

2013, you have been a great one. I am excited what 2014 holds for me!

Why hello there!

It’s been a while. I’m a fallen soldier today with sore limbs and without voice so I spent the whole day at home. ‘Tis one of the rare moments when I have time in my hands and I actually managed to do a lot of the small but life-essential things like:

  1. Eat a complete meal without having to check my phone in between bites.
  2. Play and argue with my niece
  3. Chit-chat with my mommy
  4. Watch TV! Oh how I miss being a couch potato. I was surprised to see new teen stars on TV, realizing I don’t know anyone and seeing the teen stars of my generation playing mommy/daddy roles already. I feel so old!
  5. Play some songs
  6. Scrub my bathroom tiles
  7. Clear up my toiletries and realize that I hoard quite a lot. To my dismay, saw that a lot have expired including skin care products. What a waste!

With time in my hands, can’t help but over-think. Things I wanna do, things I wanna try. It will never end, right? We always aspire for things we don’t have. Such is life, I guess. It’s a never-ending journey that’s why we don’t ever stop. I’m pretty much happy how my life is going, a crazy beautiful family, great love, true friends and a promising career. But of course, like every psychotic person in us, we have to shake the equilibrium. What else will make life exciting?

Almost late 20s, gah! I’m panicking on things I’ve left undone as if the zombie apocalypse is happening tomorrow. So little time, so much to do. Might as well list it down, whisper it to the universe and claim it. Yes, I am so claiming it.

  1. Our happy little wedding (kilig) and ultimately, a rock-solid marriage 🙂
  2. Buy a mothereffin* house. I’m not even sure if what the BF and I are doing now has promise. I hope so. The money is no joke. Money is equivalent to all the hours I’ve almost lost my sanity. I pray to the gods that this thing pans out well.
  3. Work that will not eat the 8-12 midnights of my life so that I can still have time for life. Let it still be advertising please. May ganito ba?!?!
  4. Travel to far off places (daring sword fights, magic spells and a prince in disguise).
  5. Yoga, the primary reason being I want to learn how to do a headstand.

A friend of mine posted this status a few minutes ago, super timely.

‘Fickle, adj: The constant questioning of whether what you have is enough and what you want is the right thing to have.’

You and me. Us. All fickle.